{"id":3101,"date":"2017-10-24T13:05:14","date_gmt":"2017-10-24T13:05:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/?p=3101"},"modified":"2017-10-24T14:50:35","modified_gmt":"2017-10-24T14:50:35","slug":"inanmiyorum-ya-inanmiyorum-zorla-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/?p=3101","title":{"rendered":"\u0130nanm\u0131yorum ya inanm\u0131yorum, zorla m\u0131?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>S. Freud&#8230;<br \/>\nKad\u0131n ne ister sorusuna yan\u0131t bulamadan \u00f6ld\u00fc. Her insan AMA \u00f6zellikle kad\u0131n denilen varl\u0131k&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00d6ncellikle sevgi ve mutlak g\u00fcven ister. Bunlar\u0131 ona verebilece\u011fine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 insan ile yuva kurar. Bazen arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulur, bazen bulamaz.<br \/>\nD\u00fcn han\u0131m g\u00fcn boyu a\u011flam\u0131\u015f&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8222;ta oradan yeti\u015fiyorsun&#8220; dedi bana bu sabah. Patlamaya haz\u0131r barut f\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 gibiyim. Yok,  oldum olas\u0131 b\u00f6yleydim. Yanl\u0131z adam, mutsuz e\u015fek, yar\u0131m g.t, cimri gibi bir\u00e7ok s\u0131fat takt\u0131lar bana \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyunca.<br \/>\nHalbuki&#8230;<br \/>\nAmbalaja aldanmayacaks\u0131n. \u0130stemeyerek k\u0131rd\u0131m kalbini, umar\u0131m yar\u0131m elma, g\u00f6n\u00fcl almaya muvaffak olmu\u015fumdur. Neyse&#8230;<br \/>\nBir elli sene daha ya\u015fasam&#8230;<br \/>\nElimden ge\u00e7ti\u011fi kadar yine kad\u0131n ge\u00e7se, belki daha fazlas\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\nBu varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlamayaca\u011f\u0131m. <\/p>\n<p>Bug\u00fcn&#8230;<br \/>\n\u0130stanbul&#8217;un eski semtlerini gezdim&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00d6yle aylak, aylak&#8230;<br \/>\nValide yan\u0131mda&#8230;<br \/>\nAnlat bana&#8230;<br \/>\nB\u0131rak kad\u0131n\u0131n ne istedi\u011fini, kad\u0131n denilen varl\u0131k nas\u0131l bir \u015fey, ne yer ne i\u00e7er, uzayl\u0131 m\u0131d\u0131r, d\u00fcnyal\u0131 m\u0131, bu&#8230;<br \/>\nNas\u0131l, ne t\u00fcr bir canl\u0131???<\/p>\n<p>Bundan uzun y\u0131llar \u00f6nce&#8230;<br \/>\nKara Mediha&#8217;m bana bir vekalet vermi\u015fti. Umum\u00ee bir vekalet, onun ad\u0131na akl\u0131n\u0131za gelebilecek her \u015feyi yapabilirim. Noter&#8230;<br \/>\nUyara, uyara bir hal kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sonras\u0131nda bende onu her f\u0131rsatta uyard\u0131m. D\u00fcn tapudan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra vekalet konusu bir kez daha a\u00e7\u0131lmadan kuyumcuya gitmi\u015ftik. Taraf\u0131mdan \u015fakayd\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\nAnnem ciddiye ald\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00d6fffffffffffffffff&#8230;<br \/>\nK\u0131yamet koptu. O inat\u00e7\u0131, ben inat\u00e7\u0131. Ayn\u0131 evin i\u00e7inde alt\u0131 ay birbirimizle konu\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bilirim.<br \/>\nBir parantez a\u00e7al\u0131m&#8230;<br \/>\nKonu k\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\nYa arkada\u015f d\u00fcnyaya ba\u015f\u0131ma dert geldi. Faydas\u0131 YOK zarar\u0131 \u00e7ok. \u0130\u015fte&#8230;<br \/>\nBir Dayday, Dada&#8230;<br \/>\nOnun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hep ba\u015f\u0131ma dert, hep bela. Neyse k\u00fcs\u00fcz!<br \/>\nD\u00fcnden beri konu\u015fmuyoruz. Verdi\u011fi vekaleti verdim geriye. Allah yazd\u0131ysa bozsun. \u0130ki kuru\u015f i\u00e7in&#8230;<br \/>\nAllah korusun, Allah yazd\u0131ysa bozsun. Bor\u00e7&#8230;<br \/>\nYi\u011fidin kam\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ym\u0131\u015f, \u00f6yle der atalar.<br \/>\nBir ara evin kad\u0131nlar\u0131na bor\u00e7land\u0131m. Sanki keyfime, sanki sadece kendime&#8230;<br \/>\nUlan arkada\u015f senelerden beri \u00f6de, \u00f6de, \u00f6de bitiremedim. Faizin, faizini yine faiziyle \u00f6dedim hala bitmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Y\u0131llardan beri ister durur. Yokkk&#8230;<br \/>\nVallahi billahi k\u00fcs oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in de\u011fil. Almanya&#8217;dan niyetli gelmi\u015f, s\u00f6z verdi\u011fim i\u00e7in&#8230;<br \/>\nSabah kalkt\u0131m&#8230;<br \/>\nGiyindim, gittim odas\u0131na&#8230;<br \/>\nBen kuyumcuya gidiyorum dedim.<br \/>\nDememle birlikte kad\u0131n divandan bir f\u0131rlad\u0131, be\u015f dakikada Be\u015fikta\u015f misali&#8230;<br \/>\nYa kad\u0131n&#8230;<br \/>\nNe zaman giyindin haz\u0131rlad\u0131n&#8230;<br \/>\nSadece \u015fa\u015ft\u0131m kald\u0131m. Arkada\u015f&#8230;<br \/>\nKad\u0131n\u0131n ne istedi\u011fi belli&#8230;<br \/>\nAMA&#8230;<br \/>\nkad\u0131n denilen varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne zaman, hangi \u015fartlar alt\u0131nda ne yapaca\u011f\u0131 hi\u00e7 mi hi\u00e7 belli de\u011fil, belli olmuyor.<br \/>\nKad\u0131n&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00d6ng\u00f6r\u00fclemez bir varl\u0131kt\u0131r vesselam!<\/p>\n<p>Kad\u0131n\u0131 anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m gibi&#8230;<br \/>\nKimi dini b\u00f6l\u00fcc\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcde anlamayaca\u011f\u0131m. Neymi\u015f&#8230;<br \/>\nCennet ve yedi mertebesi&#8230;<br \/>\nAllah ve el\u00e7ileri&#8230;<br \/>\nOnu anlar\u0131m, Onlar\u0131n muhtemelen farkl\u0131 olduklar\u0131n\u0131 AMA di\u011ferleri i\u00e7in ayr\u0131m\u0131 anlamam, inanm\u0131yorum b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey oldu\u011funa, zorla m\u0131? \u0130nanm\u0131yorum i\u015fte.<br \/>\nCennetin yedi kat\u0131 varsa&#8230;<br \/>\nCehennemin neden yok? Varda ben mi bilmiyorum yoksa!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>S. Freud&#8230; Kad\u0131n ne ister sorusuna yan\u0131t bulamadan \u00f6ld\u00fc. Her insan AMA \u00f6zellikle kad\u0131n denilen varl\u0131k&#8230; \u00d6ncellikle sevgi ve mutlak g\u00fcven ister. Bunlar\u0131 ona verebilece\u011fine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 insan ile yuva kurar. Bazen arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulur, bazen bulamaz. D\u00fcn han\u0131m g\u00fcn boyu a\u011flam\u0131\u015f&#8230; &#8222;ta oradan yeti\u015fiyorsun&#8220; dedi bana bu sabah. Patlamaya haz\u0131r barut f\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 gibiyim. Yok, oldum olas\u0131 &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/?p=3101\" class=\"more-link\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">\u201e\u0130nanm\u0131yorum ya inanm\u0131yorum, zorla m\u0131?\u201c<\/span> weiterlesen<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3101"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3108,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101\/revisions\/3108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wordpress.gurbuz.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}